black cloud
I HATE MYSELF AND WANT TO DIE. To be alone and absolutely in total dread is a very overwhelming feeling that only becomes more intimidating as the years pass me by. I live in an unforgiving mind and my situation is helpless. Wherever I go in the world, my condition will follow me like a shadow. I can't escape, I can't even cry about anything loudly. All my emotions are kept inside me, and when they release it's always a thunderstorm and people feel it around me even if I keep it locked up. That's why I'm so lonely. I'm alone in spirit. I feel like my own soul has abandoned me, and doesn't want to stay trapped in my body. I don't even allow myself to be seen as teary. I have learnt the only time to cry is in a black room by myself, with no one available to tell. I feel like my sadness was always greeted with anger by the people who were supposed to guide and protect me. I find it so hard to navigate my way in a world where I am the only person ...